


(love is not) a victory march

by HedaBates (theoddsareagainstus)



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: F/F, Reconciliation, angst so much angst, i went out with the intent to write something much different but this is what came out, literally just a baysha character study, this is basically a bayley face turn in freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:46:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28117158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoddsareagainstus/pseuds/HedaBates
Summary: "Bayley continued to stare at her and for just a moment, Sasha saw the past. She spotted a vestige of the gentle, caring person she’d first fallen for hidden in the quiet of Bayley’s gaze, in the very slight upturn of her lips. She saw the Hugger, adoring and peppy underdog, desperate to be accepted."
Relationships: Bayley | Davina Rose/Carmella, Sasha Banks/Bayley | Davina Rose
Comments: 17
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a lyric from Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah." Yes I'm back. Enjoy this crazy one shot that I wrote in two sittings. I will be finishing Golden. So sorry about the wait on that one. Hope you guys like this.

The first time it happened, Sasha realized what she’d subconsciously known all along: she didn’t hate Bayley. She was angry – so, so angry – and she was heartbroken, but there was no hate inside her for her ex-tag team partner, her ex-lover, her ex _everything._ She knew deep down that she would’ve turned on Bayley eventually, knew the jealousy and disdain that always seemed to crop up between them was impossible to quell. That was how their relationship worked: their love was all consuming until something petty worked its way so deep under their shared skin that it blew them apart from the inside.

So, when there was a knock on her apartment door three days before Survivor Series, Sasha knew instinctively who it was. Bayley looked worse than Sasha had ever seen her, eyes red rimmed and blown out, posture slackened drunkenly, black hair sweat slicked and sticking out in places.

Sasha ignored the pang she felt in her heart at the sight, but just the fact that it was there proved to her that Bayley still owned her. Her ex was wearing a baggy Randy Savage t-shirt and sweatpants, a clear indication that she’d been drinking alone. Her gaze stayed trained on her own feet.

“Hi.” Even that simple word was slurred. She looked up at Sasha slowly, and the slightest smile touched her lips. “You’re not slamming the door in my face.” She laughed at her own joke, almost keeling over.

Sasha wondered how she even got here on her own. “Are you ok?”

Bayley was inside her apartment and beside her before Sasha even realized she’d moved aside to let the other woman in. Again. Like she always seemed to, even when she didn’t want to.

Bayley scoffed at the question. “Of course, I’m ok. I’m always ok. Duh.”

Sasha didn’t respond to the obvious lie; she just watched Bayley wander toward the living room. The Smackdown Women’s Championship was propped up on the coffee table, glimmering in the TV light. Bayley stood there quietly, between Sasha and the thing they’d nearly killed each other over, her gaze cutting back and forth. The championship. Sasha. The championship. Sasha. Seemingly unable to make a choice, she closed her eyes and put both hands over her face, a clear attempt to hide herself away.

Another pang went off inside Sasha because the position made Bayley seem so small. Even though she had four inches on Sasha, even though she’d tried to end Sasha’s career, even though she was frightening and unstable, the only thing Sasha could see was her best friend, lonely and pretending for her own sake to be put together. The seams were visibly tearing, and Sasha feared that soon, everything Bayley was would be strewn out on the floor between them, a mess for Sasha to sort through.

“Bayley.” She said carefully, refusing to close the distance. She couldn’t touch her. The thought of it was too much. Bayley was the one who’d ruined them, not her. She was able to sympathize, but she could not forgive.

Bayley lifted her head at the sound of her name. The harsh drunken glaze over her eyes was obvious. Bayley was looking at her, but it was hard to tell if she was even registering just where she’d ended up in her stupor. She rubbed a hand over her face again and giggled to herself. An honest to God _giggle._ Sasha had no fucking idea what was happening. She’d been witness to a drunk Bayley before, but the woman who stood in front of her was a stranger. She was so tired of looking at Bayley and seeing someone she didn’t recognize. How was it possible that she’d never really known the person she loved?

“Bianca isn’t here.” Bayley said when she’d finally regained something resembling composure. She studied Sasha closely with her bleary eyes, searching for an answer to a question she hadn’t voiced.

Jealousy was another thing Sasha understood, a language she could easily communicate in. She thought back to Friday night on Smackdown when she’d spotted Carmella slide past Bayley backstage. They’d lingered on each other for a second too long, Carmella’s hand passing teasingly over Bayley’s bicep. Sasha knew they were fucking again; she didn’t need to be painted a picture to know just how far Bayley had drifted from her. Regardless, she wasn’t going after Bianca. Sasha didn’t want anyone else; the person she wanted was standing before her, absolutely toasted on tequila. The person she wanted had tried to break her neck and Sasha still loved her. There wasn’t a modicum of protest in her body to dispute it.

“Why would Bianca be here, Bayley?”

Bayley took a couple steps closer, grinning at Sasha like she knew a secret. “I saw you with her. In catering. Giggling, whispering.”

The words trailed off. Bayley seemed pleased with herself to have figured the whole thing out.

Sasha stifled a laugh. “Bianca and I are friends. And if we were more than that, it wouldn’t be any of your damn business. You hurt me.”

Bayley recoiled at that, the drunkenness softening her in the hard places. She opened her mouth, but said nothing, shaking her head as if whatever she wanted to say needed to be expelled from her brain.

“Bayley.” Sasha couldn’t stop saying her name and god, she felt pathetic for how much affection was wrapped around the syllables. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with Carmella?” Sasha could be petty, too. Every game they’d ever played, they’d played together.

There was another recoil and Sasha knew it was because Bayley hadn’t realized just how much Sasha observed her, that she still knew what every little gesture and glance meant. Bayley also hadn’t realized just how much Sasha ached to still be on the receiving end of those things, rather than her current status as the trash that’d been thrown away.

“I – she – “ Bayley blew out a breath and carefully avoided Sasha’s eyes. “She’s different.”

Sasha knew that, obviously. Carmella was going through a reinvention, having finally decided she was done being an afterthought and a joke. Sasha did not want to think about how much of that might’ve been Bayley’s doing. She couldn’t afford to wonder if Carmella and Bayley were joined in a coup against her, if she was maybe falling into a trap right that second.

“You’re different, too.” Sasha said. “You guys should be happy.”

She swallowed the disgust that bubbled up in her at the words. She hated Carmella, was counting the days till she could tear her limb from limb. Asuka was first, but Sasha was already making a list of all the ways she wanted to make Carmella suffer. Ending with wrenching her scrawny little neck in the Bank Statement.

“That’s not what I meant, Sash.” Bayley startled herself at her own casual use of the nickname and Sasha supposed that meant the cloud was lifting just a little. Maybe Bayley was finally understanding where she was. Or maybe not because she hazarded a few steps closer, causing Sasha to move away so quickly that she nearly collided with the kitchen counter. There was a chasm between them, Bayley in the living room, Sasha in the kitchen, holding the reins of the situation. Bayley didn’t seem offended at Sasha’s deference. She kept talking. “She’s different from _you.”_

Oh. Bayley missed her but couldn’t admit it without being in this state of mind, when all her defense mechanisms were flattened under alcohol. There was no bravado, no hubris, there was just Bayley, stripped down to the barest she could be, figuratively speaking. Sasha didn’t want to think about her physically stripped down. Nope. Not at all.

“Is that what this is? You drink your body weight in booze to get some courage then you come over here and spill your guts? It’s not that easy, Bayley. You. Hurt. Me.” She emphasized every word, strengthening her resolve. Bayley put her in the hospital. Bayley had chosen to attack her when she was completely defenseless. Bayley had tried to end her. That was why that championship sat on Sasha’s coffee table. It was her prize, her revenge. She’d taken what Bayley loved, just for Bayley to show up on her doorstep in the middle of the night and imply that Sasha was what she’d loved all along. No. It didn’t fucking work that way.

The dam holding back her rage crumbled. She gestured toward the belt. “You see that?”

Bayley appeased her by glancing at it, but she looked back at Sasha as fast as she could. No words left her mouth, but she almost looked ashamed. _Almost._

“You picked that over me.” Sasha went on. She wanted to say _you could’ve had both. You did have both,_ but she couldn’t. Instead, she took the necessary steps to put herself in Bayley’s space, close enough to inhale the wretched stench of tequila, and stabbed her in the chest with an accusatory finger. “Now you don’t have either. You don’t deserve either. You don’t get to miss me. You did this to yourself.”

Bayley licked her lips and nodded. “I know. I know.”

“Do you, Bayley? Do you know?”

Bayley continued to stare at her and for just a moment, Sasha saw the past. She spotted a vestige of the gentle, caring person she’d first fallen for hidden in the quiet of Bayley’s gaze, in the very slight upturn of her lips. She saw the Hugger, adoring and peppy underdog, desperate to be accepted. She saw her tag team partner, her nervous and insecure lover. All of it disappeared as quickly as it’d come though, leaving behind the Bayley who’d broken a chair over Becky Lynch’s back for Sasha; the one who’d traded her soul to keep their relationship; the one who would’ve never done what she’d done to Sasha, if not for the paranoia that drove her to believe Sasha was sleeping with a knife under the pillow.

Sasha realized suddenly that she never feared Bayley. In fact, she remembered thinking that Bayley was too naïve to know better, that she couldn’t play the game with the same finesse Sasha brought to the court, that she was so in love with Sasha she would’ve done just about anything, no questions asked. Bayley tended to be jealous and petty, but she was never dangerous. Not to Sasha. It turned out Sasha had been the one harboring a blind spot all along.

Damn.

“You broke my heart.” That was the crux of it. The Legit Boss Sasha Banks was invincible. She was the champion. She was doing better than she ever had, but only because she’d been dropped to the very bottom by the person she loved and trusted most. She’d been forced to break Bayley for breaking her. As she looked into Bayley’s eyes, she knew she’d accomplished that goal. Problem was, there was no gratification because she could admit to herself that she wanted the belt and Bayley. Bayley was the one who’d gone and made it a choice.

“I know, Sash.” Bayley said again.

The words were soft, but it was clear that just getting them out took effort. Sasha backed away, becoming aware of just how closely they were standing. Bayley didn’t follow or protest. She stood as straight as possible in her current state, arms crossed over her chest, hugging herself.

Sasha’s heart strained in her chest, reaching out toward Bayley. Her brain wanted no part of it, though. “I don’t know if I can forgive you.”

Bayley stayed stiff and unmoving, apparently afraid of making Sasha retreat even farther. What scared Sasha was that she didn’t really want to retreat. If anything, she wanted to be in Bayley’s arms, but that was no longer an option. It couldn’t be.

Bayley threw her hands up in surrender, as if she’d read Sasha’s mind. “I…I shouldn’t have come here. I’ll go. It’s ok.”

Fear struck Sasha in the stomach. She couldn’t rightfully leave Bayley to fend for herself. She didn’t even know how Bayley had gotten to her apartment, but there was no way she could let her back out. Not alone. No matter what she’d done, Sasha didn’t want to live in a world without Bayley, and she sure as hell didn’t want it to be her fault.

Fuck.

She put a hand on Bayley’s forearm, just to stop her from bolting. “No. You can stay. Sleep on the couch. Just…”

Bayley’s face morphed into a hopeful expression. “Just what?”

“Just be gone before I wake up.”

* * *

The second time it happened, it was the Monday night after the TLC pay per view, and while Bayley was clearly buzzed, her eyes betrayed a lucidity that wasn’t there the time before. When Bayley tentatively slid past her into the apartment, Sasha caught a whiff of a perfume that wasn’t Bayley’s. It was too rich, too sweet, and it made Sasha’s stomach turn because she knew exactly who Bayley had been with.

Bayley was no longer hers, but she couldn’t help the disgust she felt at the thought of Bayley occupying someone else’s life the way she used to occupy Sasha’s, close enough to be sharing perfume and a shower.

Fuck, she hated Carmella. She should’ve beaten her ass worse in that ladder match. She should’ve snapped a ladder in half over Carmella’s spine to ensure she’d never get up again, let alone been able to leave behind a _stench_ on Bayley.

Sasha stopped. She didn’t know why she cared so much. She and Bayley hadn’t spoken since that weird night before Survivor Series, and she would’ve been lying if she’d said that she hadn’t been thrilled to watch Bianca Belair manhandle Bayley in the ring at TLC. Hell, Sasha had specifically gone to gorilla just to get the closest seat possible.

Bayley settled onto one of Sasha’s ottomans and gave her a smile, and Sasha didn't know why, but her heart started fluttering around in her chest, a caged bird desperate to be let free.

“I’m proud of you.” Were the words Bayley said next and it was completely insane.

Sasha laughed despite herself. It was the only way to express her absolute disbelief at the situation she’d put herself in. Her relationship with this woman was long dead; the damn thing should’ve been decomposing in a grave somewhere and yet, Sasha stood right in the middle of it, looking into a face that was too much like a Bayley who most assuredly no longer existed. If the relationship was decomposing, then the old Bayley was just a pile of bones by now.

“Just how hard did Bianca hit you?” She asked.

A smirk slid onto Bayley’s lips and while it gave away her inebriation, Sasha was still so attracted to it and the teasing glint it put in brown eyes.

“Pretty damn hard.” Bayley admitted, and that made Sasha genuinely laugh.

She gathered herself after a few moments to find Bayley staring at her, teeth sunk into her bottom lip, shaking her head, voice slightly croaked. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful when you laugh.”

She startled like she hadn’t meant to say it out loud and instantly ducked her head to lose Sasha’s eyes. They wordlessly chose to avoid the moment, the feelings, any of it, all of it. Sasha couldn’t even be allowing it. Bayley shouldn’t have been in her apartment – again – and she also shouldn’t have been telling Sasha sweet things like they were joined instead of violently separated.

Still, drunken Bayley was quiet and thoughtful and said everything sober Bayley felt but refused to voice. She wasn’t threatening violence, wasn’t infringing on Sasha’s personal space or attempting to force a confrontation. She was just…sitting and watching Sasha closely.

Sasha was looking, too. Bayley’s black hair was cut well above her shoulders once again; she’d caught sight of the fresh undercut earlier. Sasha felt an urge to put her hands in it that was so strong, it forced her to make tight fists at her sides. The white Paramore t-shirt Bayley wore was cut in a way that accentuated defined shoulders and toned arms and for the millionth time in her life, Sasha wanted to be in them. Consequences be damned. She wished it were as easy as straddling Bayley’s lap and devouring her.

“What do you want, Bayley?”

Bayley set her jaw in a tight line. Sasha knew that meant she was overwhelmed and thinking too hard, most likely mentally berating herself.

“I don’t know.”

It was brutally honest. Sasha doesn’t know what to do with it. Abrasive, prideful, bad guy Bayley was admitting to vulnerability, to feeling lost? She couldn’t believe there was still a sheep to be found under the wolf’s clothing. Maybe that was wrong. Bayley wasn’t the sheep or the wolf; she was the sacrificial lamb. She’d cut her own heart out and risen from the carnage, brand new.

What hit Sasha harder than anything else was that Bayley was here, with her. She’d spiraled out of control and shown up on Sasha’s doorstep. Twice. Sasha remembered that she too had chosen Bayley after rediscovering the depths of her own heartlessness. Sasha was not a good person, probably never had been, but Bayley was the best thing she knew. Despite the gnawing need to be at the top of the mountain, she’d wanted Bayley right beside her. Bayley was constant. Sasha changed – or reverted – and Bayley changed to match her. That was all this was.

Bayley. Matching her. Bayley. Choosing her. Bayley. Spiting her own darkness.

She dropped onto the edge of the coffee table, careful not to get too close and waited. Bayley was frowning, her brow furrowed in thought. She readjusted herself only to groan at a twinge in her back. Sasha thought about how much pain her ex must’ve been in after Bianca’s runaway victory. Her heart ached in sharp contrast to the unabashed joy she’d felt watching the match unfold from gorilla.

Bayley was grim when she finally found the words. “I don’t know who I am anymore. Without the title.” She hesitated for just a second before looking Sasha dead in the eye. “Without you.”

Sasha didn’t have any idea how to respond, but thankfully, there was no time to truly dwell on it because Bayley kept going.

“I can’t be who I was – that pushover, that loser – but I can’t be…I can’t be _this._ I can’t be _nothing.”_

They’d spent years fighting. They’d torn at each other’s egos, exploited every weakness they could find. They’d been terrible, brutal enemies until they weren’t. Until Sasha found a softness in herself that she hadn’t been aware of, a part of her that only wanted to know Bayley better, rather than learn new ways to rip away pieces. She’d fallen in love with a gentle, forgiving, selfless woman. The woman across from her was none of those things. Perhaps, somewhere deep down, below the cowardice and the ego and the horrifying propensity for violence, that woman still existed, but Sasha didn’t know where. She knew better than anyone that sometimes, weaponizing your own insecurity was the only move on the board.

Sasha was the one who’d accused Bayley of being nothing without their connection. It was more accurate to say that neither of them was the same without the other. They weren’t nothing; they were both missing a piece.

“You’re not nothing.” It was the only thing Sasha could say. “You’ve never been nothing.”

Bayley’s eyes were clearing, the effects of the alcohol ebbing away. “I am.”

She sounded so certain, as if all she’d been thinking about for months was how much she’d defined herself by that championship and by Sasha’s love.

Sasha wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that was the truth. She took a breath, preparing herself. “I hated you for so long, Bayley. I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to break you, but it was because you made me feel so weak. You were everything I didn’t know how to be. When you stood up to me, when you took the NXT title, you made me realize that I didn’t have to hate you. I didn’t have to hate you because you were everything I was missing. As a wrestler, as a person. You completed me. The second I allowed myself to feel it, I was in love with you. You’re not nothing. You were everything to me.”

Bayley blinked, but had no other outward reaction.

“Were.” She repeated solemnly, accepting her fate.

Sasha couldn’t respond. She just stared back at Bayley and ignored the hurricane of emotional turmoil that was unwittingly being stirred up inside her.

“It’s always been you.” Bayley said. Her voice was low, drenched in heartache. “You hated me, but I just wanted you to _see_ me. You got called up and all I wanted was to have you back with me. Carmella was there and I thought I loved her, I thought I’d gotten over you, but you called to say you needed me and the only place I wanted to be was next to you.”

“Bayley…”

“The Elimination Chamber. When you…when you betrayed me, I’d never been so angry. You seemed so unaffected. You broke my heart and pretended like you hadn’t and I just…” Bayley closed her eyes. “I never really forgave you.”

“I know.”

Neither of them was apologizing, Sasha noticed. They were baring their souls, but they weren’t sorry for what they’d done to each other. They weren’t taking responsibility for mistakes. They were just…airing grievances. You hurt me. Well, you hurt me, too.

“I did everything I could for you. I wanted you to understand that you didn’t have to go through me to get what you wanted. I wanted you to understand how much I love you. That we could do it together.”

Bayley wrung her hands in her lap, perhaps to keep herself from touching Sasha. It was the most respectful she’d been toward Sasha in months and Sasha was ignoring the warmth she felt at that realization. The old Bayley really was in there somewhere. She was never in the driver’s seat, but she was there, an unwanted conscience. Sasha also didn't miss that Bayley had said I love you. No past tense.

“I couldn’t handle the idea of you turning on me again. I knew it would kill me, so I did it first.”

Sasha hated that Bayley thought her only option was to incapacitate Sasha for good. It was insane and twisted. “You were afraid? That’s your explanation?”

Bayley nodded. “I was so afraid. All I could think about was how easily you’d hurt me before. That look you got in your eyes every time…like hurting me was fun for you. I couldn’t go through that again.”

They stared at each other for a long time then, conveying more than they could say. Sasha wanted to tell Bayley that there was no reason for her fear, but she didn’t know if that was the truth. She really had wanted the Smackdown belt; she really had wanted to prove that she was better than Bayley, once and for all. The competitiveness was ingrained in them. Sasha knew Bayley felt it just as strongly as she did. An ugly discontent at being perceived as equals always seemed to butt into their relationship, no matter how deeply they were entwined emotionally.

Sasha didn’t have time to find a way to put any of that into words, however, because Bayley’s phone went off. She pulled it from her pocket and sighed heavily at the name on the display.

“Carmella’s looking for me.” She said. “I left while she was sleeping.”

Sasha gritted her teeth. Some part of her wanted to make Bayley stay. Another, larger part was grateful for the interruption. They were in uncharted territory and neither of them were capable navigators. “Go ahead.”

Bayley stood, but made no move to leave. “Sash…”

“Go. It’s ok.”

Sasha’s eyes followed Bayley until the door was shut behind her.

* * *

Bayley wasn’t drunk at all the time after that. The Royal Rumble was 24 hours away and Sasha was preparing to put Carmella down. Reggie was barred from ringside after interference at TLC, but Sasha would’ve gladly taken them both in a handicap match. That was how fucking done she was with Carmella’s bullshit.

That was why she was genuinely excited to see Bayley standing on the other side of her door for the third time in as many months. She once again had something Carmella couldn’t hope to truly possess with Sasha in the picture: Bayley’s heart.

Bayley walked into her apartment with no preamble, all bravado and confidence. It was a far cry from the regretful, drunk Bayley she’d come to know in these moments. Sasha wasn’t sure if she was prepared to deal with a sober Bayley, honestly.

“Hi, Bay.” Sasha offered with an uneasy smile of her own. She knew that Bayley was an entrant in the Royal Rumble; that had to be the reason for Bayley’s good mood. If she won, the two of them would be poised to finally air all their shit out in the ring at Wrestlemania. There was a good chance that would be the only way for them to move forward for real. They could talk it out all they wanted, but they were competitors first and foremost. If one of them held the Smackdown belt, the other was always going to want to take it. It was in their nature.

“Hey.” Bayley sat on the arm of the couch, clear brown eyes trained on Sasha, unsubtly looking her up and down. “You look beautiful.”

Sasha was in sweatpants and a tank top, having been getting ready to hit the gym before Bayley’s interruption. She wasn’t anywhere in the realm of how good she usually looked, in her own opinion. Yet, there’d always been something endearing about Bayley ogling her when she was dressed down.

“Thanks. Are you ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem…weird.”

The Bayley in front of her was elated. It was something she hadn’t seen since long before Hell in a Cell.

“Why? Because I’m not drunk?” Bayley laughed. 

“Because you’re smiling and laughing and calling me beautiful.”

Bayley rose back to her full height, though she didn’t try to close the distance between them. “You are beautiful. And I’m just excited for tomorrow.”

Sasha narrowed her eyes playfully, matching Bayley’s energy.

“Don’t even. I’m going to win the Rumble.” Bayley flexed both arms, and Sasha felt a stir inside her that was anything but playful.

Fuck. How did Bayley always do this to her? They were barely friends again. One honest conversation couldn’t have undone eight years of mutual damage. Could it?

“You do know Bianca’s also in the Rumble, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah. The fastest, strongest, whatever. I’m the best.”

Sasha couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Bayley was joking around and laughing. Her defenses were completely down for the first time in who knew how long.

“ _One_ of the best.” Sasha returned with a smile.

“You’re right.” Bayley came closer, stopping within inches of where Sasha stood near the front door. _“We’re_ the best.”

Sasha wasn’t in control of her body because she found herself eliminating the space between them. Bayley took it as permission and both hands came up to rest on Sasha’s waist, gently tugging her forward. Coherent thoughts ran away instantly as they shared body heat.

“Bayley…” Over and over, Sasha had imagined being back in this position. In Bayley’s arms, inhaling Bayley’s exhales. But, God, it was so wrong. They weren’t fixed. Not by a long shot. “We can’t.”

“Yeah. I know.” Bayley brushed a kiss along her forehead and stepped back, allowing Sasha the room to regain her breath. “I’m getting ahead of myself.”

Sasha didn’t have the slightest idea what that meant. “What?”

“You’ll find out at the Rumble.”

* * *

As it turned out, Sasha didn’t have to wait long to learn just what the hell Bayley had been talking about. Reggie was barred from ringside, so Carmella brought _Bayley_ out with her. Sasha was already in the ring, championship belt hung over her shoulder, eyes fierce and deadly. The Boss was in full effect, but somewhere under the surface, Sasha was panicking. Bayley was wearing their Team Extreme inspired gear from the night of Payback; it was also what she’d worn the Smackdown after, when she’d almost snapped Sasha’s neck with a steel chair.

Was that what Bayley had come to her apartment to brag about? Was that why she’d been so excited, so happy? She'd given Sasha a warning that everything between them was nothing more than an act once again.

The Boss was furious, and she was taking it out on Carmella before the other woman was even in the ring, fists flying and connecting on Carmella’s back and shoulders. Carmella collapsed amongst the ropes and Sasha twisted her in them, keeping her in place so more punishment could be given.

The referee was screaming at Sasha, but she didn’t register any of it. Instead, she paused for just a second in the assault to glance up toward Bayley. Her – friend? – was standing near the steel steps with a grin on her face. It was a look Sasha knew too well. Bayley was proud of her. But, if that were true, why was she out here with Carmella?

It didn’t matter; in the time Sasha had taken to contemplate it, Carmella had freed herself and now Sasha was the one in trouble.

Somewhere far off, the bell to start the match finally rung.

* * *

“We knew this would happen, Corey. Of course Bayley was out here to interfere!”

“But did we think it would happen like this, Cole? Bayley’s gone after Carmella!”

Sasha registered the announcers screaming back and forth, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. Sasha was wondering that herself because Bayley was in fact attacking Carmella. One second, Carmella’s thighs were locked around Sasha’s throat in the Cone of Silence and in the next, Sasha was dropping shoulder first to the mat, half open eyes watching Bayley slam Carmella’s head into the canvas. The bell rang. 

“That’s it! Sasha’s been disqualified, but the championship can’t change hands that way. The Boss is still your Smackdown’s Women’s Champion.” Michael Cole was saying. "What if Bayley interfered to make sure Sasha would still be the champion at Wrestlemania? She will be in the Rumble later tonight!"

"It would make sense, Cole. Bayley could just be trying to get her revenge." Graves chimed in. 

Their judgmental back and forth was a distant, unimportant sound. Sasha was transfixed by Bayley, who was now kneeling beside her, one hand in hers to help get her into a sitting position. Sasha knew she was staring in awe, but she had no room to be embarrassed. Bayley was out here for her. Bayley had gone after Carmella for her, the same way she had so long ago. Bayley was cupping her face and pulling her to her feet, a huge smile sliding into place.

“You good, Boss?”

Sasha snatched her belt from the referee and shooed him away when he went to raise her hand in victory. Addressing Bayley, she found herself speechless and stunned, so she dropped her head to Bayley’s shoulder and let her best friend guide her wherever she wanted.

* * *

Two hours later, Sasha was in gorilla, Legit Boss t-shirt on over her gear, Smackdown belt around her waist, eyes glued to the Women’s Royal Rumble on the monitors.

Unsurprisingly, Bianca and Bayley were two of the last four competitors, the other two being Ruby Riott and Liv Morgan. The Riott Squad had been teaming up the entire Rumble, but they were still little match for Bayley and Bianca, who’d chosen for just a minute to be on the same side. Sasha watched first Ruby, then Liv get tossed over the top rope in quick succession. That left Bayley and Bianca squaring off in the center of the ring. Bayley was giddy, but Bianca was giddier than that, skipping along the ropes and twirling her ponytail in a wide circle.

“Come on, Bayley!” She goaded, stopping in the opposite corner from where Bayley stood observing her.

“You come on!” Bayley threw back.

Sasha couldn’t help but laugh. She watched Bianca shrug and charge at Bayley, but Bayley was ready, diving out of the way. They locked up for real, only for Bianca to get the best of the exchange and drive Bayley backwards into the turnbuckle. She wailed on Bayley in the corner until Bayley slumped all the way down to the mat, hands up to cover herself.

It didn’t last long after that because Bayley was clearly winded. She’d entered the Rumble at number one and the toll it’d taken was catching up. Sasha knew from experience that adrenaline could only get you so far in that environment. She heard herself sigh in relief when she saw Bayley crash to the floor, when Bianca stood alone and screamed out in joy.

There would be no more fighting between Bayley and Sasha.

Bianca had made sure of it.

* * *

Sasha found Bayley in the trainer’s room, sitting on the doctor’s table with her back against the wall, ice pack poised on her right shoulder. She was covered in a sheen of sweat and she was still trying to catch her breath, but her eyes were shining as she beamed at Sasha. “Hi.”

“Hey. Everything checked out?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Nothing’s broken. I’m just exhausted and sore. The trainer laughed at me for even coming in here.”

Sasha shook her head at her friend, the complete dumbass. “You’re such a baby.”

“Am not!” Bayley stuck her tongue out, reminding Sasha of the Bayley she stood side by side with for so long. Was that Bayley finally finding her way out again?

Sasha thought about the way Bayley had eviscerated Carmella tonight. Maybe there was no other Bayley and Sasha had been wrong the whole time. Maybe every facet she’d ever seen in Bayley was still there, making up the pieces of the puzzle. Bayley wouldn’t ever be perfect again, but she was certainly trying to be better.

Or at least, she was trying to do right by Sasha. Wasn’t she?

Bayley jumped down from the table, putting herself right in Sasha’s space. Sasha sucked in a breath and tried not to show that she was instantly compromised. Bayley’s hands came up rest gently on her waist. The hand that’d been holding the ice pack was still freezing, causing Sasha to flinch away from the touch.

Bayley dropped her forehead to Sasha’s and laughed quietly. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok.” Sasha pressed further into the embrace, inviting Bayley to do what she’d wanted to do in Sasha's apartment yesterday. Nervousness marred her features, but Sasha reached up to run her fingers through Bayley’s hair, something she knew would calm her.

“It’s ok.” She said again, this time putting far more meaning into it.

It’s ok. _I forgive you._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all wanted more? Here ya go. Bayley's POV this time. There will either be one or two more chapters. Enjoy!

The first night Bayley stayed over after they reconciled, she awoke at 2am and found herself alone in bed. She spent a couple of minutes contemplating whether getting up to look for Sasha was even a good idea, but her own anxiety sent her out of bed and into the hall, padding carefully so she didn’t make too much noise.

Sasha was in the kitchen, standing at the counter with her head bowed. Bayley walked up behind her and put a hand to her lower back. It was the absolute wrong move.

Sasha flinched away, her head snapping around, fear written all over her face.

Bayley’s stomach dropped to the floor, but if the floor hadn’t been there, she was sure it would’ve dropped all the way to Hell, which was where she deserved to be for putting that look in Sasha’s eye.

“Sasha. It’s all right.” _It’s just me_ stuck in her throat. She wasn’t the remedy. She was the reason. That chilled her to the bone. Once upon a time, she’d been the person Sasha ran to; now she was the person Sasha ran from. Her hand fell back to her side limply and she backed up a couple steps, just in case.

Sasha was eyeing her carefully, like she was trying to figure out which Bayley was beside her.

“I’m not going to hurt you, baby.” Bayley kept her voice as level and quiet as humanly possible.

She wasn’t stupid enough to think that Sasha was just going to be fine with Bayley once again weaving in and out of her space. That was too much to ask. Yes, they were professional wrestlers and yes fighting was part of their job description, but what Bayley had done was far outside the realm of wrestling. It’d been so deeply and horribly personal, so entirely borne from the toxic ecosystem that was her and Sasha’s relationship. There was going head-to-head in a match and then there was very intentionally mauling and attempting to break the neck of the person you loved. She’d seen Sasha with a busted knee, defenseless, reaching out to her and her alone, and she knew it was an opportunity she couldn’t have passed up. There was a depravity inside her that she hadn’t been fully conscious of until that night. It’d taken over, stained her vision red, and made Sasha its singular target. Bayley knew she could be aggressive; she could be petty and ruthless and dangerous, but the way those things had zeroed in on Sasha – a person Bayley practically worshipped – was frightening.

Bayley didn’t deserve Sasha’s forgiveness, but by some miracle, she was on her way to earning it. She was willing to do any and everything Sasha asked just to prove that she wasn’t out to hurt her. Not again. Not anymore. “Sash. Talk to me. Please.”

Sasha turned herself toward Bayley but made no other movement. “I’m sorry. I…”

“No. Don’t be sorry. We might’ve moved into this too fast.” It’d only two days since the Royal Rumble. When Sasha had invited her over tonight, Bayley’s instinct told her to say no, but the excitement at Sasha being ready to open up had overridden it immediately. They’d spent the night just finding random shit to watch on YouTube and Netflix, having mutually decided to have a cheat meal and order pizza. It’d been fun and easy, but Bayley had stayed a fair distance from Sasha the whole night. Sasha had been the one to curl into Bayley’s arms late into the second movie they’d put on and fall asleep. Bayley should’ve known better than to put Sasha to bed and then lay beside her, but she had. She was regretting it now.

“I want you here, Bayley. I do.” Sasha’s voice was quiet, and a little sad, like she was stricken by her own desire to have Bayley around. “I’m trying.”

Bayley smiled softly. “Can I help? Please?”

Sasha hesitated for only a second before nodding.

Bayley reached out and took both of Sasha’s hands. She saw the tension in Sasha’s body, how stiff her shoulders were. Gently, she lifted their joined hands and brought them to her own shoulders, leaving only Sasha’s touch there after a moment. She stayed still, allowing Sasha free rein over her.

Sasha moved closer in what felt to Bayley like slow motion, her fingers locking behind Bayley’s neck. She scanned Bayley’s face, looking for any sign of a trick, but Bayley kept smiling at her in gentle encouragement.

“Bay.” It was a whisper.

“Sash. Do what you want. Even if you have to punch me.” 

Sasha didn’t punch her; she came even closer, her body only an inch from being flush to Bayley’s. Bayley sucked in a breath at the closeness, but she didn’t return the touch. Her arms stayed at her sides. Bayley knew that this intimacy – the kind that allowed her to stay with Sasha in Sasha’s apartment, the kind that allowed Sasha to feel safe sleeping beside her again – would have to be earned. She needed to be patient, to let Sasha come to her. Especially because she’d set this whole thing into motion by drunkenly finding her way to Sasha’s doorstep. Everything that happened next needed to be Sasha’s choice.

Sasha ran her palms along the jut of Bayley’s collarbone, thumbs brushing at either side of her jugular. Bayley swallowed down the trepidation that fluttered over her nerves, but Sasha didn’t put any pressure there. She reached up to cup Bayley’s face, and Bayley smothered the urge to press a kiss to Sasha’s pulse.

“Come here.” Sasha was still whispering, but this one was lined with certainty. Bayley took the invitation and ducked her head closer to Sasha, bringing her arms to circle Sasha’s waist finally. Sasha tugged her so that their foreheads were resting together. Bayley didn’t even dare to breathe; she was terrified of scaring Sasha away.

It felt like a lifetime passed before Sasha leaned up and kissed her. It was worth the wait, though, because it immediately blew circuits in Bayley’s brain, erasing any thought that wasn’t _Sasha._ She squeezed Sasha closer, careful not to use too much pressure even though all she wanted to do was crush Sasha to her and never let go again.

The kiss was tentative and slow, and Bayley matched it as best she could while everything inside her screamed to take control and do what she wanted. She smothered it. That wasn’t her place anymore.

Sasha pulled back after a few long moments with a dazed little smile on her face. Pride swelled in Bayley’s chest. Somehow, Sasha was still hers.

“Hi.” She mumbled, barely a breath away from Bayley’s lips.

“Hi yourself. Was that…um…was that ok?”

The only thing in Bayley’s vision was Sasha’s hazel eyes and the wisps of blue hair around her forehead and the adorable shy grin on her face.

Sasha kissed her again, a barely there brush of lips on hers, then pulled back. It seemed to Bayley that Sasha was having just as much trouble controlling herself as she was. Over the summer, they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. Hell, they’d never stopped long enough to take things slow at any point in their relationship. From the word go, it’d been all hands on deck so to speak. They were patently intense about and around each other, a full blown five alarm fire on impact. This was self-inflicted torment.

“Yeah. That’s ok.” Sasha pressed deeper into Bayley’s arms, tucking herself under Bayley’s chin.

Bayley held her close, smothering a smile into the crown of Sasha’s head, one hand stroking down her back. An echo struck Bayley in the silence, a years old confession from a very different Sasha to a very different Bayley.

_I love you. I always have and I always will._

Bayley didn’t forget that she’d practically forced Sasha into saying the words, into making this unavoidable, irrefutable thing between them concrete. Ironic then that Bayley had been the one to decide that she couldn’t live up to the expectations of what they were supposed to be, that she couldn’t save the tag team titles, or the Raw title. That she couldn’t preserve Two Belts Banks or protect Sasha from the flash of temporary insanity that had almost ended her career. That she in turn couldn’t protect herself from Sasha’s inevitable wrath.

Bayley was one of the most decorated Women’s Champions in the history of the WWE, but that feat and what she’d done to accomplish it had tarnished her soul. The Hugger was dead; Bayley was the one who’d killed her. Every day, the mirror showed her someone who hid behind a façade of confidence, of superiority; someone who’d hurt everyone close to her so she could be a champion. She was guilty of so many shitty things and now she needed to fix it. Starting with Sasha.

“Sash. Do you want me to go?”

Sasha stiffened in her arms for a split second. Bayley didn’t miss it.

“No.”

“Baby. You don’t have to try to make me feel better.” Bayley breathed out a laugh. “I just want you to feel safe.”

“You can stay. Besides, you and I both know I can kick your ass.”

Now, Bayley laughed straight from the belly because holy shit. What a fucking thing to be joking about after all that had transpired between them. Sasha was proud of herself, too, judging by the way she smirked at Bayley’s reaction.

“All right. All right. Shhhhh.” Bayley said, once she regained her strength. She leaned down to peck Sasha on the lips. “Go back to bed, Boss. I’ll take the couch.”

“Bayley, you don’t have to…”

“It’s fine.” She stroked a hand down Sasha’s arm, hoping to soothe. “I’ll be here when you wake up. Just go get some sleep.”

Sasha’s eyes were soft as she watched Bayley.

Bayley’s heart stuttered in her chest. “What?”

“Nothing. Nothing.” She pressed a kiss to Bayley’s cheek. “Good night.”

“Night, Boss.”

* * *

She’d been minding her own business. Literally, she’d been sitting politely on the couch, having woken up a couple hours before. She was mindlessly taking in some stupid reality show on Netflix when blue hair and a blinding smile took up all her vision. A weight settled on her hips and a pair of lips took possession of hers. It took Bayley a few seconds to even realize that she needed to keep up.

She slid her tongue into Sasha’s mouth at an invitation, and Sasha grounded her hips down, shorting out Bayley’s brain entirely. She grasped at Sasha’s sides under the thin t-shirt she wore as Sasha’s hands tightened in Bayley’s hair, keeping them close.

Another grind and Bayley forced herself to pull away, out of breath and desperate. Last night Sasha couldn’t even lay next to her without freaking out and now they were dry humping? “Fuck, Sasha. Hold on.”

Her whole body was a live wire. Everywhere Sasha touched her was creating a fine line of electricity along her nerve endings. She felt like a teenager getting to make out with their crush for the first time, even though the woman on top of her was someone she’d done a hell of a lot more than make out with on numerous occasions.

Sasha leaned back in her lap – _fuck_ – and painted on the cockiest smirk Bayley had ever seen, which was saying a lot considering this was Sasha.

“What’s the matter, Role Model? Can’t keep up with the Boss?”

Bayley chuckled around her breathlessness and shook her head at Sasha’s teasing. “That’s not it at all.” She said, circling her arms around Sasha’s waist. “I just…are you sure? Last night you jumped out of bed when you saw me there and now…”

Sasha’s fingers stroked through Bayley’s hair, biting her bottom lip as she thought about what she wanted to say. Bayley felt bad for stopping the forward progress, for creating more room for feelings when Sasha was clearly craving the contact. Still, they couldn’t go on fixing mistakes with physical connection, or thinking that a smile or a laugh could heal the intricate spider web of wounds they’d left behind on each other. Bayley remembered Hell in a Cell, how bitter that taste of her own medicine had been, steel chair strangling the will to fight right out of her. She remembered how much white hot, blinding rage there was to go around between them, back and forth until they were both battered and changed. Sasha might’ve emerged as the champion, but she was still broken, same as Bayley. There was no recovering from the loss of a connection like theirs and that was why Bayley was here, beneath the weight of the woman she loved, waiting for the words that would almost make it all better. If that were even possible anymore.

“I’ve learned how to be fine without you, but that doesn’t make me love you any less.” Sasha broke the silence. “I freaked last night because I realized that, and I didn’t know what to do. I tried to hate you. I don’t know how.”

The words might as well have come from Bayley’s own mouth. It was the same dilemma she’d been in since the night she’d turned on Sasha. Everything in her body wanted to disengage, wanted to be rid of the baggage, was convinced that Sasha was plotting her demise as well. She’d been desperate to hate Sasha, to once and for all sever the red string that held them together. It’d only made her miserable. She wasn’t complete without Sasha. She was living and breathing and wrestling, but she wasn’t _the same._

“I know what you mean.” Bayley replied softly, leaning back against the couch. Sasha followed, hands dropping to rest on either side of Bayley’s head.

“Bayley.” Sasha stared down at her intensely, hips rocking down again. Bayley let out another sharp groan and that brought a grin to Sasha’s face. “I’m sure.”

Their lips connected a little harder than before, sharpening Bayley’s senses to Sasha once again. She couldn’t help the way she whimpered and pushed herself back into a sitting position, allowing Sasha to swallow her up in her arms. Bayley pulled back for just a second, eyes alight. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

Bayley should’ve known better than to think Carmella was just going to move on. Bayley had strung her along not just once but twice, after all. There was something easy about Carmella, something Bayley didn’t have to think too hard about. Carmella knew what she wanted and was very explicit about it; Bayley never had to sit and contemplate deeper meanings behind simple actions the way she did with Sasha.

In NXT, it’d been about more than just getting over Sasha. She and Sasha hadn’t even been that close yet when Carmella came along. Bayley instantly wanted to be her friend, the way she had with everyone back then. It’d become something so much deeper all on its own, with neither of them really realizing it until they were in it. Carmella was the first person Bayley had known herself to be in love with and that would never change.

Even back then, though, Sasha was everything. Bayley hadn’t known it at the time, but in retrospect, everything she did was about Sasha. She wanted to prove herself worthy of taking that championship from Sasha and when she’d taken it, she’d been elated to see how proud Sasha was, how Bayley’s never say die attitude was softening Sasha, just a little. She’d fallen for Sasha long before Sasha became a real option. And when she had, well, there was no other choice for Bayley to make.

She was selfish, and that selfishness had hurt Carmella. They’d moved past it, once, after NXT, but it’d been easy to do when Bayley was on RAW and Carmella was on Smackdown. They genuinely missed each other and that mutual feeling left room for a viable, real friendship. Easy. Unburdened by idiotic romantic feelings. Bayley severed that friendship once and for all when she and Sasha both went to Smackdown; it was for the best. Carmella and Sasha could never have co-existed in Bayley’s life. 

Of course, there was just no leaving well enough alone. It just wasn’t in Bayley’s nature to think before she acted. She hurt Sasha and went back to Carmella, to that simmering, familiar feeling of first love. They were both different people, but if anything, it’d made them more compatible. Carmella didn’t judge Bayley for her self-centered actions anymore, and they’d found a carnal connection that hadn’t quite sparked as well the first time, when Bayley had been far shyer and more nervous. Bayley wasn’t in love with Carmella anymore, but there’d been plenty in it for her, not the least of which was a warm bed and a way to keep her mind off Sasha. Regardless, Carmella wasn’t just going to let Bayley go. Nothing in Bayley’s life ever worked out that simply. 

So, when her phone went off after she’d made love to Sasha for the first time in months, she knew exactly who was texting her. For a few minutes, Bayley stayed where she was, warm on the couch under a blanket stolen from Sasha’s bed, Sasha still wrapped around her. The TV was playing an anime that Sasha had wanted to catch up on and every so often, she would react to what was happening on screen, but other than that, there was no need for conversation between them. They were at peace, finally.

The text notification sounded again.

“Are you going to check that?” Sasha’s voice was low.

Bayley kissed her forehead and scooted over so she could snatch her phone from the coffee table. She settled back with the phone in her hand, Sasha’s body molding back to hers easily. She couldn’t help the way she stiffened at the sight of Carmella’s name.

“Bay. What’s wrong?” Sasha glanced up at her.

“It’s Carmella.”

Sasha shot up, leaving no choice for Bayley but to follow. They sat next to each other on the couch, both only in t-shirts and underwear, blanket having fallen away in the shuffle. Sasha was staring at her and Bayley felt her judgement, but beyond that, she felt Sasha’s insecurity. It was obvious she was wondering if letting Bayley back in was a mistake she was about to pay for. Bayley’s heart dropped into her stomach; Sasha still didn’t trust her. It didn’t matter that Bayley had attacked Carmella; in Sasha’s mind, there was still a chance Bayley and Carmella were in it together and hoping to catch Sasha off guard. It was a paranoia Bayley herself was responsible for.

She felt sick.

“What does she want?” Sasha asked, though her tone was anything but curious.

Bayley opened the message against her better judgment. It was a simple, singular sentence.

_I hope you know this isn’t over._

Bayley laughed under her breath, thankful that it wasn’t anything delusional that could’ve been misconstrued by Sasha. “She’s threatening me.”

There were two days left before Smackdown, but at least Bayley knew what to expect. Carmella wouldn’t come after her alone; she’d most likely have Reggie just a few steps behind. Bayley knew a lot about underhanded tactics – no one was better at it than her – but sending a man to do your dirty work was up there with the worst of them. It reeked of Carmella’s old partnership of Ellsworth and Bayley hated her for it. Bayley was a cheater, but she had some couth.

Meanwhile, Sasha was fuming. “I’ll kill her.”

There was a fleeting thought that her and Sasha going after Carmella and Reggie together would greatly even their odds and ensure they would be rid of the nuisance. Bayley wouldn’t do that, however. She was going to protect Sasha. It was once again her only priority. Carmella wouldn’t be going for the championship this time; she was gunning for Bayley, for revenge. Bayley needed Sasha to stay out of it.

“Sash, stop. It’s me she’s after. I’m going to take care of it.”

“Bayley…”

Bayley scooted closer to Sasha, and put a hand on her thigh, thumb rubbing in a circle. “No. You’re the champion. You have more important things to worry about. I’ll handle Carmella.”

Sasha lips curled into a warm smile. Bayley had missed that look; the one that said Bayley was the only person who existed in Sasha’s world, and Sasha was happy for it to stay that way. Still, she didn’t deserve it. She had to look away; she couldn’t handle all the things Sasha’s eyes were telling her.

Sasha moved to cup her face and bring her back. The smile was still there, though it was even softer now. “I love you.”

It was the first time the words had passed between them in so long. Bayley’s chest inflated like a balloon as every overwhelming thing she felt for the woman in front of her came back to life. How did she ever think she could’ve lived without this? This burning connection that just filled her to the absolute brim. She breathed out, felt all the emotions settle against her ribs and wrap around her heart, finally in their proper place. “I love you, too. And I’m going to take care of you. I promise.”

Sasha nodded and pressed a kiss to Bayley’s jaw before pressing into her arms. Bayley held her close, and thought about how she was going to get Carmella out of their lives.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!! I apologize for how long this chapter took, but I hope you all enjoy! One more to go.

Bayley’s breath was heavy on her collarbone, hands stroking down her sides to her hips. Sasha dropped her face into Bayley’s neck to hide herself away. Catching her own breath was a struggle with the way lust and heat were still simmering along her nerve endings. Electricity crackled on her skin everywhere she and Bayley were connected and somehow she only longed to be closer. She wanted more. Bayley’s lips ghosted along her collarbone and a breathless chuckle followed, muffled into Sasha’s skin. Her palms pressed gently into Sasha’s lower back, coaxing her even further into Bayley’s lap. Sasha sucked in a breath at the friction it created where she was still oversensitive.

She created a tiny bit of separation to recompose herself. “Fuck, Bayley.”

There was another chuckle as Bayley lifted her head.

“You just did.” She responded, unbearably cocky smirk lifting the corners of her mouth.

Sasha rolled her eyes, but kissed that smirk, anyway, chest swelling with pride at the way Bayley instantly groaned into her lips and tightened the hold on her waist. Sasha was having a hard time believing she was in this position again – literally naked in Bayley’s lap and kissing her, hands pulling at sweat slicked black hair, knees pressing into the mattress to gain better leverage.

She thought about Hell in a Cell constantly; the resentment and fury that’d been unleashed between them, the wrath that’d replaced the bleakness of her heartbreak and given her a purpose. She’d only wanted to destroy Bayley, though Bayley was everything she loved in the world. It turned out that neither of them had fallen out of love. They’d just been trying to preserve themselves. Even so, Sasha wasn’t strong enough to pretend she hadn’t ached for Bayley the whole time they were apart. Bayley pulled away to catch her breath but didn’t stray far as she dropped her forehead to Sasha’s.

Her heart leapt at the adoration written all over Bayley’s face. Every coherent thought ran away, leaving Sasha alone with her overwhelming emotions and the affection that was driving her to run her hands down her lover’s back.

“Bayley.”

“What is it, beautiful?”

For a second, Sasha just stared at the woman she was so hopelessly in love with, her brain rebelling against everything her heart was releasing. Forgiving Bayley should never have been an option, but here they were. Bayley’s eyes were soft, and they did the amazingly easy job of pulling Sasha into their warmth. The darkness she’d seen in this same pair of eyes during the Cell match was gone, replaced with the love she’d grown so used to and perhaps taken for granted more than once. She was so terrified of being tricked again, but she feared being the one to ruin it even more. Bayley had hurt her so goddamn bad that sometimes it was easy for her to ignore that she was responsible for just as much damage herself.

She let out a breath, her mind made up. “I’m sorry.”

“Baby.” Bayley’s smile grew a little wider. “You don’t have to apologize for anything that just happened.”

Sasha slapped her across the shoulder and laughed. “Not for _that_ , dork.”

Silence settled between them. It was terrifying – the prospect of _this._ They always deflected; they did it over and over until they exploded, until the truth beneath was unavoidable. They couldn’t do that forever. Their relationship wouldn’t survive it. Not again. Regardless, the words were stuck in Sasha’s throat, held back by her pride and her ego.

“Sash.”

Her name so warm on Bayley’s tongue broke the dam. “I’m sorry for everything. All of it. For making you think…” Sasha clenched her jaw and dropped her gaze, focusing on her own hands resting on Bayley’s shoulders. “I’m sorry for ever making you think that I don’t love you.”

Gentle fingertips on her jaw brought her back. How strange it was to be touched so softly by the same hands that had tried to break her mere months ago.

“You’re so amazing you have no idea.” Bayley kissed her for just a split second, as if she couldn’t bear to be so close Sasha’s lips without having them. “I’ve never been more in love with you. And I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Sasha.” Her fingertips brushed Sasha’s throat now, along the phantom line of the healed injury, a silent apology to match the words.

Perhaps it was fitting that this conversation was happening in lieu of an afterglow. They were both physically and emotionally bare, exposed in a way they rarely allowed themselves to be. Sasha couldn’t remember a single time during the summer where she’d been honest with Bayley, except in the bedroom when she was digging her nails into soft skin and moaning out sweet nothings. Those moments had stretched to few and far between the closer they got to their inevitable fallout. In retrospect, Sasha should’ve seen it coming. She’d pushed Bayley away after Summerslam and two weeks later, their relationship imploded for all the world to see.

“I know you are, baby. I know.”

There was a plea underneath the words. It said _please don’t hurt me again._

Bayley kissed her again, but it was tentative, leaving Sasha the option to pull away. She didn’t, of course. She pressed back harder and used to her weight to put Bayley on her back. A breath of a laugh passed between them as Sasha trailed kisses along Bayley’s jaw and settled on her pulse.

She bit down, though not hard enough to leave a mark. Bayley’s fingers tangled in her hair, breath warm on her ear. “Can’t get enough, huh?”

Sasha both adored and loathed the cockiness in the tone. “Bayley. Just shut up.”

* * *

  


Sasha arrived separately from Bayley at the Thunderdome the next day. There was speculation all over social media about their on again/off again status as best friends. People on Instagram and Twitter were once again calling her dumb for falling prey to Bayley’s mind games. She had to scoff at the snap judgments. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been thinking of every possible scenario since the moment she’d opened her door to find Bayley drunk on her doorstep.

Still, she went about her routine as normally as possible. She checked in with Hunter about her media stops and then made a show of going into her own locker room to drop off a change of clothes for later in the night. She waited twenty minutes before heading down the hall toward Bayley’s. Her head stayed on the swivel the entirety of the short walk just in case someone was waiting to pop out of the quiet. She hadn’t forgotten about Carmella’s warning for Bayley or Bianca’s recruitment into the Riott Squad.

The door to Bayley’s dressing room was cracked open and Sasha went in with no hesitation, knowing it was propped for her and her alone. She put down her gear bag before locking the door behind her.

Bayley was sitting on the bench in the middle of the room, zipping up a hoodie over her all-black gear. Her head shot up the second she heard the lock click. “Hola, mamacita.”

“Hi.” Sasha crossed the distance and reached out to cup Bayley’s face, stepping into the small space between her legs. Bayley widened her stance to give Sasha more room and wrapped both arms around her waist.

“You look good.” She praised after a moment, gaze hungrily and unabashedly scanning Sasha up and down, taking in the sunshine yellow skirt set she wore. Her hands settled on Sasha’s exposed midriff, thumbs rubbing circles into hipbones.

“I always look good.” Sasha offered back with a laugh.

There was an eye roll and a sharp exhale in response. “And what about me?”

She combed her fingers through Bayley’s hair. “You…are annoying.”

Bayley narrowed her eyes playfully, her own fingers teasing along the waistband of Sasha’s skirt. “Funny. That’s not at all what you were saying last night.”

Sasha tapped the pointer finger of her free hand against her chin and pretended to think about it. “I don’t recall anything memorable about last night.”

It hadn’t occurred to her just how much she’d missed their stupid little games with each other; how easily they each could rile the other up. Sometimes, words weren’t even necessary. A well-placed eye roll or a raised eyebrow could just as easily get the heat turned up under Bayley. As it was, the arms around her were tightening their hold and pulling her in, and Bayley was tilting her head, mouth a breath away from Sasha’s.

“Did you need a reminder, Boss?”

Fuck. “I have to do press in a bit, Bay. I just wanted to see you before…”

The sentence was derailed by Bayley’s mouth on hers, and the knees that pressed into her hips, keeping her in place. Sasha giggled into the kiss as she locked her hands behind Bayley’s neck. She dipped her tongue into Bayley’s mouth and pressed herself even closer, forcing her girlfriend to keep up. After a few long seconds, she broke the connection, though Bayley was shaking her head like a child being told no and chasing after Sasha’s lips.

“Bayley.”

Rough hands slid to the back of her thighs and tugged. “Stay. Kiss me.”

Sasha shifted her weight to keep from being dragged into Bayley’s lap. Her lover was out of breath, pupils blown out, hands and mouth refusing to release her. Sasha allowed herself to be coaxed into another heated, dirty kiss, and felt her resolve start to slip away. Her body was becoming warm and pliant everywhere Bayley touched her and perhaps she had come in just to get a little encore. She was close to letting Bayley have her, regardless of the fact that someone was bound to come looking for one of them soon.

“Baby.” She tried again anyway, though she was giving Bayley access to her neck. A groan left her as Bayley’s teeth grazed her jumping pulse. She’d left more than one hickey the night before, but she’d been mindful to leave them in a place Bayley’s gear covered, low on her collarbone. Sasha’s gear wouldn’t cover any place Bayley’s eager mouth was exploring. “Easy.”

“Sorry, champ.” Bayley seemed to acquiesce, trailing soft kisses along Sasha’s jaw and pausing just short of reaching her lips again. “Last night was…fuck, Sash, I want you again. So bad.”

Sasha stared into hooded brown eyes. A surge of lust went straight up her spine at the implication. She needed to be levelheaded. They both had enemies to deal with and jobs to do. Their insatiable need would have to be put on hold. Just for a little while. “Later, mi amor.”

A slow grin crossed Bayley’s face. “It’s been a while since you’ve called me that.”

That was true. Ever since they’d made up, Bayley hadn’t stopped with the pet names. It was always ‘baby’ or ‘beautiful’ or ‘boss’ or some variation thereof. When it wasn’t those things, it was ‘Sash’ or ‘mamacita.’ Bayley’s affection for her was in full force, and every word and movement felt like a way to prove to Sasha that she was better. Especially last night when she’d allowed Sasha to have all the power and guide her wherever. If Bayley really was out to betray her again, Sasha was going to be none the wiser. She couldn’t afford to think like that. She needed to believe in Bayley the same way she always had if any of this was going to keep going.

“Tu eres mi amor.” Sasha smiled, desperate to banish the negative mindset.

Bayley’s hands stroked up her back. The grin still firmly in place, she rested her forehead against Sasha’s. “Yeah. Yours.” She kissed Sasha softly, a far cry from her previous hunger. “Tu tambien eres mia.”

“Si. All yours.”

Truer words would never be spoken. Bayley had broken the Boss wide open and poked around at the inner workings until she’d found a place where she fit, nudged right up against Sasha’s heart. Bayley was it for her, no matter how volatile their relationship became. They lived in a world that settled even the smallest disagreements with violence. What else could they have done besides take all their shit out to the ring?

Bayley hugged her even closer, and Sasha let her. It was still so strange to have Bayley below her and at her mercy. She hadn’t felt in control of their relationship in so long. Yet, here Bayley was, freely handing it to her. That was a step in the right direction. 

There was a warm hum against her collarbone. “You have to go?”

“I won’t be gone more than an hour.”

Nodding, Bayley released her and leaned back. “Go before I can’t stop myself.”

“Is that supposed to be a threat?” Sasha shot back with a laugh, refusing for a second to step away.

“Only if you want it to be, Boss.” Bayley showed her dimples in a smirk and robbed Sasha of higher brain function. This woman was still adorable. Sasha wanted nothing more than to forget that they’d ever been fearful or hateful toward each other.

“Bayley.” Sasha was trying to scold, but her voice came out rough and rasped.

“God, don’t do _that._ I’m trying to keep my hands to myself.”

Perhaps to emphasize her point, Bayley ran her hands down her pant legs. After a second, she rose to her full height, and Sasha had to fight the urge to cower back from her. There was just a momentary flash of Bayley’s figure stalking toward her during the attack, but it was enough to frighten her. She was beginning to wonder if that residual fear would ever truly go away.

In the moment, Bayley was smiling down at her, brown eyes glittering in the locker room’s fluorescent light. “Are you sure you don’t want my help with the Riott Squad tonight?”

Sasha took a breath to steady herself back in the present, where Bianca was sending the Riott Squad after her and Bayley was once again her lover and her confidant rather than her oldest enemy. “Yes, baby. I can handle them.”

Bayley gave her a cute little nod and kissed her forehead. One hand lightly tapped her on the butt as she stepped back, and Sasha swatted at it, rolling her eyes. “Stop that. Jerk.”

The teasing lit Bayley’s eyes even more. It was almost like they were back to normal. Whatever that meant. “I’ll see you later?”

“You will.”

A heavy quiet came over the room. Sasha felt how charged the air was, and it wasn’t because of their earlier make out. It was far more emotional, intense in a way that once upon a time would’ve had Sasha fleeing. She didn’t hide from what she felt for Bayley anymore; there was just so much of it. If she hadn’t let it out willingly, it would’ve clawed its way out and left her a bloodied mess in its wake.

“I love you, Sash.”

It would’ve been hard to miss the nervous lilt in Bayley’s voice, the clear trepidation that she was putting her heart out to slaughter, that Sasha was going to change her mind any minute. Sasha reached up and put a hand to the back of Bayley’s head, running her fingers through her hair before grazing her nails along the undercut. Bayley groaned just a little and it made Sasha’s heart leap excitedly.

“I love you, too. And I’ll see you later.” 

Bayley stole one last kiss before letting her go completely. “Bye, beautiful.”

* * *

  


It took Bayley a few minutes to realize that Sasha had left her gear bag behind. For a bit, Bayley stayed where she was, her heart still in overdrive from having Sasha all over her, her hands still itching to feel warm caramel skin, her brain still playing back last night’s more vigorous activities. She did everything she could to focus on those things, on Sasha, on the relationship they were mending into something that stood a real chance. It was impossible, though, because the bag was mocking her. She tried to redirect her energy into lacing up her shoes, but her eyes found the bag again. The problem was that she knew exactly what was in it – her and Sasha had spent years on the road together – and none of it was extraordinary, except for the one thing that used to belong to Bayley. The only thing she’d ever loved with the same ferocity she loved Sasha: the Smackdown Women’s Championship.

She looked to her left and caught herself in the mirror. Sasha’s hands and mouth had disheveled her; her hoodie was askew on her shoulders, her hair in an almost bed head state of upheaval. Her lip gloss had been kissed away entirely. She was loved up in a way that wasn’t new. Sasha was always handsy and frankly, Bayley was no better. They were intense 24/7. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. It was just how their relationship went. So, why then did Bayley feel like she was sitting on a bear trap that was ready to clamp down and make her bleed? Had Sasha left the bag behind on purpose, just to see what Bayley would do? Was it a test or just an innocent oversight?

Bayley looked into her own eyes again, but this time, she didn’t see Sasha Banks’ lover. She didn’t see the Role Model, either. No. She saw the Hugger, or rather, the Hugger’s ghost. It was hidden under layers of ego and disdain, but it was there, in the shadows, in the deepest confines of her heart. Bayley did want to be better. It wasn’t a ploy. It wasn’t a trick. She wanted to listen to the last shreds of her conscience and leave the belt alone.

She didn’t. She made her way over to the bag after nothing more than a moment of hesitation. It felt like uncovering the greatest treasure or perhaps, like stealing it. The belt sat atop Sasha’s gear for the night, jewels and diamonds sparkling against the room’s fluorescents. Bayley breathed out and willed herself not to touch it, though it might as well have been talking to her. It was insane how she couldn’t look away from it, how the red Legit Boss sideplates seemed so out of place, _incorrect._

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She stood up slowly, making sure to zip the bag back up so Sasha couldn’t tell it’d been touched. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and tried not to think. Walking away from the bag was harder than walking to it, and she felt like a druggie who’d found a hidden stash. It was hers. It was rightfully hers. It’d held her name on it for so long.

 _It doesn’t anymore._ The angel on her shoulder again, louder than before. _Let it go._

Bayley went to the other side of the room, toward the compartment that held her own belongings. Her gear bag sat on the shelf, but beneath the shelf was her steel chair. The one that had come within an inch of breaking Sasha’s neck, the one Bayley had taken with her into the Cell match, a memento, a trophy. Sasha had won that belt from Bayley using the same chair, and that was why Bayley kept it around. It was a reminder of how just how far she’d fallen and beyond that, it was a comfort. It’d freed her from Sasha’s influence, allowed her the space she’d needed to breathe and redirect and understand. It’d freed her from the belt, too. The pressure to stay the champion was gone, even if the desire to once again be the champion remained.

She’d worked so hard to be the champion, but she was working even harder to be good. Decent. The way she used to be. She owed it to Sasha, who’d given her forgiveness and acceptance despite how much Bayley had done to not deserve it.

“Shit.” She needed to get out of the room. In fact, she needed to get out of the Thunderdome entirely for a bit. All of it was suffocating, and she refused to let Sasha see her that way anymore. She wouldn’t lose control.

Never again.

* * *

  


Bayley was no longer in her dressing room when Sasha came back from the interview with Fox. Sasha felt only the smallest twinge of disappointment; she hadn’t really thought Bayley was going to wait for her. They were trying to keep a lower profile, after all. Her veins were still buzzing with energy left over from last night and earlier as it was; she didn’t trust her own ability to resist Bayley for a second time, despite the fact they were a mere hour and a half from showtime. Willing the dirtier thoughts away, she grabbed her stuff from Bayley’s locker room and headed back towards her own. She wasn’t the least bit surprised to find the door left open. In fact, some part of her had been expecting the intrusion. Carmella was standing on the opposite side of the room, observing herself in Sasha’s floor length mirror. She was already in her unbearably tacky leopard print ring gear and Sasha’s whole body lit up in defiance of her presence.

“The hell do you want?”

Carmella eyed her through the mirror. “Calm down there, Boss. I just wanna talk.”

Sasha clenched her jaw so hard she feared she might break her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest as Carmella turned to face her. Every fiber of her being loathed this woman; this other woman Bayley loved, this other woman who knew Bayley’s touch and Bayley’s kisses long before Sasha ever had.

“Well? Talk.” Sasha barked into the silence. She was trying not to think about Carmella’s hands on Bayley, or Bayley’s mouth on Carmella. It was making her stomach turn. Beyond that, it was making her want to wring Carmella’s neck. How was this woman brave enough to waltz into her private locker room? Not only had Sasha taken Bayley back, but she’d beaten Carmella in the ring. Soundly. Twice. Why did she still have to see her fucking face?

The blonde smiled, apparently amused at Sasha’s distaste for her. “How did you do it?”

What the fuck. “Do what?”

“Bayley. How did you get to her again?”

“ _Get_ to her? I didn’t get to anything. Bayley’s her own person.”

Carmella scoffed at that. “Barely.”

Rage burned in Sasha. It was almost impossible to contain it, but she needed to. Carmella wouldn’t break her. She was stronger than she’d ever been, and she had everything she wanted. The petty mind games weren’t going to work. “You don’t know shit.”

“I know Bayley. I know her better than you ever have or ever will. You’re manipulating her again. Just admit it.”

A disbelieving laugh bubbled out of Sasha. “If that’s what you need to tell yourself, be my guest. I won’t stop you.”

“Why can’t you just let her be? I made her happy. I’ve always made her happy and you just won’t stop getting in the way.”

See, Sasha always knew Carmella was pathetic and she always questioned Bayley’s attachment to her, but this was a whole different level of denial and desperation. “Oh, sweetheart, if you made her happy, she wouldn’t have been under me last night.”

Carmella flinched as if Sasha had slapped her. “Shut up.”

The wound was open, and Sasha felt like getting revenge. She’d spent so long being jealous and vengeful, upset at her life being torn to shreds so Bayley could go back to what was familiar and safe. Her heart had been ripped out and viciously stomped on. Why did Carmella deserve anything less than that?

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re just not good enough? You tried, but she just doesn’t love you. She spent months begging me to forgive her. She went to bed with you _thinking about me.”_ Sasha couldn’t help the sadistic smile she felt slide onto her face. It was liberating to finally get it out. Winning was all Sasha Banks knew how to do, truly.

“She did love me. She loved me before you fucked with her head. I knew this would happen.” She said the last part almost to herself. “I knew she’d never be able to let you go.”

“If you came in here to threaten me, just get it over with. I have other shit to do.”

Carmella crossed the room and stepped right past Sasha, only to stop in the doorway. “I wasn’t here to threaten you, Sasha. I was here to distract you.”

  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thanks for all the love and reviews!! This will be the last full chapter, but there will be an epilogue. Hope you enjoy!

Bayley’s head wasn’t anywhere close to clear when she made her way back to her locker room. She’d only gone for a walk around the arena, careful to avoid places where she knew people would be gathering or doing press. It wasn’t long ago she’d been the face doing all the promotion, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t happy to be passing under the radar, especially now when she felt herself in such a tailspin. There were texts on her phone from Sasha that she couldn’t answer.

They were simple and affectionate.

_This interview :(_

_Wish I was still in your arms._

_I missed being able to text you._

_I love you so much._

They hit Bayley hard and deep in the heart, where all she wanted was to trust Sasha for real and be happy. They hit her harder in the brain, where every little thing was being over analyzed for even the slightest hint of a trick or a test. She didn’t want to hold Sasha under a microscope because Bayley deserved the distrust, but it couldn’t be helped. She was anxious and unsure about their connection once again; it was okay, though, because she had bigger things to worry about now that there was less than half an hour before Smackdown. Something told her to grab her steel chair before she left her locker room for the night, and it became clear why when she looked down the hall and saw Carmella emerging from Sasha’s room.

There was no chance to run after her because Bayley was dropped in the next second by a knee to the back. She panicked for only a second before turning to see Reggie standing over her, smug smile on his face. God, she was sick of Carmella’s crap and that was her only thought as she avoided another kick to the ribs and rolled to her feet. Reggie seemed stunned at her quickness and Bayley took the opportunity to grab her chair again. She held it in one hand at her side, other hand going up palm out in a show of peace.

“Come on, dude.” She said. “Carmella’s not even worth all this.”

Shrugging, he lunged for her, but she was ready and sidestepped him. He stumbled, only to hit the floor hard when the chair was swung across his back. Bayley swung again and again, feeling her rage bubbling up to the surface no matter how much she’d wanted to hold it in.

“Bay.”

The familiar voice broke her out of it. She felt Sasha’s hand on the back of her neck as she tried to calm her breathing, chair once again down at her side. Reggie was writhing on the ground, but Bayley paid him no mind as she turned into Sasha’s touch, letting the woman she loved cradle her to her chest. 

“You did good, baby.” Sasha whispered into her hair.

Bayley stayed in the embrace for another few seconds before she stood again, eyes on fire. “I’m not done yet.” She said, walking away from Sasha and down the hall toward gorilla position.

She stalked right past all the crew who tried to stop her and down the ramp to the ring, one track minded. She barely registered someone handing her a microphone, but there was sweat in her eyes and sweat rolling down her back and she tightened her grip on the steel chair, rage still so hot inside her.

“Carmella, get your ass out here.” Bayley paced the ring like a caged animal ready to rip off the lock. “No more games. No more sneak attacks.” She used the hand that held the microphone to comb her hair back. “That didn’t work out so well for Reggie, so why don’t you just come down here and face me. Let’s work out our personal shit in this ring. Just leave Sasha out of it.”

She could hear Michael and Graves commentating, trying to figure out just why she was hijacking the top of the show. The big screen was playing footage of Reggie’s almost successful attack and Bayley laughed, her whole body humming with satisfaction.

“You all just want me to stay the bad guy, huh? I’m trying to be better! But you just keep pushing and pushing. I’m sick of it. You want me to be the bad guy, Mella? No problem. Come out here so I can finish this.”

Nothing. Bayley fumed a little more and glanced over her shoulder at Michael and Graves, who were now uncharacteristically silent. “Oh, you have nothing to say either, Michael? That’s great.”

The music that hit next wasn’t Carmella’s. Instead, it was a very smug Bianca. She paused at the top of the ramp, microphone already in hand. “Listen, Bayley, there’s nothing I don’t love about a little drama, but you’re in the way right now.”

“Look at you. Thinking you’re so bad.” Bayley threw her head back to laugh. “You only won the Rumble because I let you. You’re welcome for putting you where you are. Now go away.”

Bianca walked halfway down the ramp. “I am bad. The baddest, in fact. And you wanna know something else, Bayley? You should learn to watch your back.”

She went down again, this time courtesy of Ruby and Liv taking out her legs. The chair was tossed out next and Bayley scrambled for the ropes, infuriated. The Riott Squad stalked across the ring toward her as she used the ropes to pull herself back up. The next sound she heard was Sasha’s music. She rose to her feet, not really willing to fight them, but knowing she had to if she didn’t want herself and Sasha to be outnumbered.

Ruby came for her first, smacking her hard across the face. Bayley gasped at the power of it and glanced over at Liv, who wasn’t joining in but laughing manically. Another fist got her in the stomach, and she went all the way back down to the mat, groaning. Kicks followed for a few moments and then stopped when Sasha was finally done with Bianca on the outside. She slid into the ring beside Bayley, steel chair in hand. The Riott Squad had no choice but to back away. Bayley lifted herself into the corner, leaning back against the turnbuckle, breathing slowing back to normal. Sasha stood beside her, smile on her face as Bianca and the Riott Squad fled for backstage.

It wasn’t over by a long shot and Bayley hadn’t forgotten her personal struggle with Sasha, but they were at the very least showing a united front.

For the cameras, anyway.

* * *

Sasha held Bayley’s hand all the way back to her locker room before she let go and stepped away, letting Bayley drop herself onto the bench and breathe. Sasha’s blood was still buzzing from all the excitement at ringside, but she was even more excited that she and Bayley were once again together for the cameras. It was a little thing, but she liked knowing that she could once again roam the halls with Bayley at her side, not fearful that someone might catch them sneaking around when they were supposed to be enemies.

She wondered absently if she’d get a text from Hunter later in the night, though she decided just as quickly that she couldn’t care less at that moment. Her heart was full again and that was all that mattered. She smiled huge at Bayley, who could only tilt her head questioningly.

“What are you so happy about?”

Sasha gave her a shrug and a whisper of a kiss. “We’re together.”

Bayley flinched away from the kiss, and maybe that should’ve been Sasha’s first clue, but she wrote it off as a pained reaction.

“I have to take a shower.” Bayley mumbled, getting back to her feet.

“Do you want company?”

Bayley didn’t have the reaction Sasha was expecting, which would’ve been a resounding yes. Instead, she studied Sasha for a moment, her face completely unreadable. Sighing, she replied, “No, Sash. I’ll only be ten minutes. Then we can head home, ok?”

Though she was starting to wonder just what the hell was going on, she couldn’t help but be appeased by the word home.

* * *

As it turned out, Bayley was eerily quiet the entire way back to Sasha’s apartment. It was unnerving for Sasha, who despite everything, could say she’d never received dead silence from Bayley before. They always straight up fought when something was wrong. Bayley wasn’t one to shut down when she was upset; she usually just exploded. Sasha felt especially ill prepared to navigate a moody Bayley because they should’ve been celebrating. Carmella and Reggie weren’t going to come after them again; now they could figure out what do about Bianca and Wrestlemania.

What was terrifying was she had no idea what had gotten into Bayley and worse, she didn’t know where to start in dealing with it. They’d be fine earlier; better than fine. This sudden silent treatment was outside of her Bayley expertise and that hurt her more than anything; she’d once known Bayley better than anybody else. Resigned to an argument, Sasha dropped her bag near the front door and stared at Bayley’s back. She stood with both hands on her hips – a clear sign that she was anxious. Sasha at least knew that much. It took her far longer than she would’ve liked to gather up her courage, anyway.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

Bayley let out a shaky breath. Sasha watched her shoulders tremble as she tried and failed to compose herself. It was hard to tell if it was anger or fear or some combination. Sasha hated being helpless but that didn’t even compare to how she much she hated not knowing what was going on in Bayley’s head. At one point, their connection had seemed almost telepathic. Not anymore. Sasha feared that they would never get back to that point of comfort.

“Sasha.” Bayley finally turned to look at her. The conflict was written all over face. Her mouth was a tight line, and her eyes were glassy, as if she were struggling to hold in everything she was feeling. “Do you love me?”

“Yes.” No hesitation.

“You love me.” Bayley’s voice trembled. She walked toward the living room and settled onto the arm of the couch, the way she had during those conversations that had ultimately mended their relationship. “You love me.” She repeated, though it was more to herself than to Sasha.

Sasha was more confused than ever. “Bayley…what…”

“I’ve been in love with you for so long.” Bayley went on. “Whatever I used to feel for Carmella, it’s nothing compared to how I feel for you. I just want you to know that.”

“I do know that.”

A small smile touched Bayley’s lips. “Good. I have one more question and I just…I need you to be honest with me, Sash. Please.”

Sasha covered the distance between them and cupped Bayley’s face in her hands. It was only a moment of hesitation before Bayley’s hands settled on her waist, though they didn’t do more than rest there.

“Okay.” She replied, nudging herself further into Bayley’s space, thumbs rubbing over her cheekbones.

Bayley’s dark eyes scanned her face for a long moment. Then, “Do you trust me?”

Vulnerability wasn’t something she’d seen on Bayley in a long time, but even so, she couldn’t answer right away. Once upon a time, there wouldn’t have been another thought. Yes. A thousand times yes. Of course. Always. She was a different person now and so was Bayley. They’d done so much to each other; they’d done so much to others. Then, of course, there was the championship. The thing that had driven them to violence in the first place. The only other thing Bayley loved. Sasha didn’t want to believe that she had to look over her shoulder if Bayley was standing behind her, but why wouldn’t she?

Bayley laughed under her breath and dropped her hands. She stood up to dislodge Sasha’s hold on her as well and stalked away toward the front door. Stopping halfway between Sasha and escape, she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, cursing out loud at her own frustration.

Sasha observed the struggle silently, waiting.

“Fuck.” Bayley breathed again. She ran both hands into her hair, keeping her eyes closed.

Swallowing hard she said, “I don’t know what else to do, Sash. I’ve only been trying to do right by you and you still want to play mind games. Just help me understand.”

She flinched at the hard edge in Bayley’s tone. There was no avoiding the fight. Bayley had been holding whatever it was in for hours.

Still. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bay.”

“You do!” Bayley seemed to startle at her own volume and shook her head. “You do.” She nodded to herself, sure. “You left your gear bag in my locker room. The belt…” The words trailed off as Bayley opened her eyes to glare at Sasha. “You wanted to fuck with me. All you ever do is fuck with me.”

Sasha was stunned and not even really comprehending what Bayley was getting at. Truthfully, she hadn’t thought twice about dropping her stuff off in Bayley’s room. They’d shared a space together for so long. It was second nature, an old habit she was falling back into. She’d wanted to see and touch Bayley before the cameras were on and the chance was lost. That was all. How dare Bayley read something so sinister into her actions and imply that Sasha was underhandedly testing her loyalty.

Anger swelled to life inside her. “You really can be such an asshole. I wasn’t fucking with you. I wasn’t punishing you. I wanted to be with you.”

Bayley scoffed. “I might be an asshole, but at least I own up to my shit.”

Sasha flew to her feet, enraged and hurt, but only allowing one of those emotions to take the lead. “I have owned up to it! You know what, Bayley? Fuck you. Fuck you and your paranoid bullshit. I’m not the one with trust issues.”

“Oh, so you want to act self-righteous. That’s a good one, Sasha. How about you look me in the face right now and tell me you weren’t going to turn on me, huh? Come on. I dare you.”

She stared Bayley down defiantly but couldn’t find a word to dispute it.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought. You can lie to the cameras all you want, Sasha, but I know you.”

“Screw you. At least I didn’t go off and fuck other people.”

Bayley burst out laughing, and it was dark and sardonic. “Please. Like you wouldn’t have been all over Bianca if she’d offered.”

The option of punching Bayley dead in the face was becoming more favorable by the second. Sasha couldn’t believe they were stooping to these levels after all the progress they’d made. They were in love. They were better. What the hell was happening.

“I’ve never touched Bianca. And besides, even if I had, she’s not my fucking ex!”

Bayley smirked, though it was weak and half-hearted. Nothing more than a vain attempt to play off her own insecurity. “Say what you want about Carmella, but she’s never lied to my face.” 

“I’m not lying.”

Bayley came a few steps closer, stopping just short of being right in Sasha’s face. “You’re not?”

“I’m not, asshole. You’re making shit up like you always do.”

“ _I’m_ making shit up?”

“Yes!” Sasha shot back, exasperated. It was stupid to have thought she’d seen the last of this side of Bayley. That somehow her love had magically cured the paranoia and granted Bayley self-awareness. “Stop trying to make this about anything other than your jealousy.”

Bayley’s eyes narrowed as she let out a slow breath. “I’m not fucking jealous.”

A laugh bubbled out of her before she could quell it. “Really?”

They kept staring, each daring the other to break the silence. Bayley crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. The gears were visibly whirring around in Bayley’s head as she clenched her jaw hard before meeting Sasha’s eyes again.

“Did you let her touch you?” The fire was extinguished from Bayley’s voice. She just sounded lost and unsure.

Sasha breathed out to reset herself. It seemed for the moment that the fight was over, or rather that she’d found the underbelly of the situation.

“No.” She responded softly.

Bayley clenched her jaw again. It was clear that she’d let her walls down and was regretting it. A sad smile crossed her face. “Sasha. Carmella and I didn’t get back together. Not for real. I couldn’t even…I just wanted her to be you.”

“Yeah?”

Defeated, Bayley chuckled. “Why do you think I went home and got drunk? I don’t want her. I know what it’s like to be with you.”

Sasha entered Bayley’s personal space then, hands reaching up to lock behind her neck, body pressing into hers shamelessly. Bayley sucked in a breath at the contact and held her close, brushing their noses together.

“I love you. I don’t know how to stop. And I’m so afraid that you’ll wake up one day and realize that I don’t deserve another chance.”

Sasha leaned up to kiss her softly. “Bayley, if I didn’t believe in you, you wouldn’t be here right now. You wouldn’t have been in my bed last night. You know that.” Another kiss. “I love you, too. So much.”

Bayley nodded, hands almost absently sliding to the back of Sasha’s thighs. Taking the hint, Sasha smiled and let Bayley lift her so she was perched on her hips. They kissed again, deeper and harder, tongues brushing until Sasha found herself deposited on the couch with Bayley above her, one thigh pressing between her legs as rough hands pulled off her t-shirt. It’d been a while since she’d seen the aggressive side of Bayley; she’d spent weeks being as gentle as humanly possible and handling Sasha like she was made of glass. Now, though, she was biting Sasha’s bottom lip and groping at exposed skin. Sasha arched helplessly into the touch. Bayley’s response was to grind down, forcing her thigh harder between Sasha’s legs. Sasha couldn’t stop herself from breaking the kiss and _whining_ at the friction.

“Fuck.” Bayley’s voice was even rougher than her hands. She slowed down for just a second, dropping her face into Sasha’s neck. “Sash.” She breathed while her fingers stilled at the waistband of Sasha’s sweats. “Can I?”

It wasn’t funny, but Sasha laughed, anyway. She’d thought maybe the sweetness that had existed in Bayley was gone forever, but here it was, the way it had been for weeks. Nothing happened without Sasha’s explicit permission.

Her lips touched Bayley’s and Bayley smiled into the contact, a happy little sigh passing between them. Sasha stroked her hands up Bayley’s back into her hair and held on as Bayley’s fingers dipped past her underwear. Two fingertips made a teasing circle around her clit, making Sasha groan against the shell of her ear. They traveled lower after another pass and now Bayley made a gruff noise of her own. “Fuck, how did I make you this wet already?”

Sasha grinned at the awe in Bayley’s voice and rolled her hips. There was no room in her to be embarrassed; her body was thrilled to once again have Bayley’s constant attention, same as her heart. “Shut up and touch me.”

Bayley’s fingers stayed where they were, only teasing at giving Sasha what she wanted. Bayley lifted her head. “I am touching you, Boss.”

Sasha yanked at Bayley’s hair, satisfied at the hiss she received in return. “Fuck you. You know what I mean.”

Smirking, Bayley braced herself with her free hand on the arm of the couch and kissed Sasha hard. Her tongue dipped into Sasha’s mouth at the same instant her fingers stopped teasing. Sasha’s hands tightened in her hair a little further.

Bayley broke the kiss to stare down at her, taking in hooded hazel eyes and the quickening rise and fall of her chest, blue hair fanned out around her. “You’re so beautiful.”

Sasha was trying not to rock into the movement of Bayley’s hand or seem even half as desperate as she felt. She’d been with Bayley a thousand times and somehow the effect never went away. Craving their connection was imprinted on her DNA by now. Her nails dug into Bayley’s shoulders as she threw her head back. Bayley dove into her neck at the invitation, teeth and lips teasing at soft skin.

“Eres mia.” Her voice was shallow from working Sasha over, but the words were firm all the same.

Sasha couldn’t find a working cell in her brain to form a response so she settled for tugging Bayley into another kiss, hoping to convey what her voice couldn’t.

_Always._

* * *

Sasha was sitting up in bed with the light on when Bayley came out of the bathroom. The clock on the nightstand told her it was already past midnight, but Sasha didn’t seem even close to sleep. Her horn-rimmed glasses had replaced her contacts and she was lost in her phone, brows furrowing and smoothing out as she read.

Bayley’s entire being warmed at the sight. It was still so familiar and safe. She breathed out a contented laugh and slid into the space beside Sasha, who instantly looked over at her.

Bayley’s smile was soft. “You okay?”

“More than. Why?”

“I’m just making sure. I didn’t mean to get so rough before.”

She hazarded inching closer and putting a hand to Sasha’s thigh. Sasha turned to face her fully, putting the phone down as she did.

“I know I was loud, but I wasn’t complaining.”

Her heart skipped around in her chest while her brain conjured up replays of all the sounds Sasha made. It was still insane to Bayley that Sasha wanted her so bad all the time. “Oh no, beautiful. I didn’t think you were.”

“Are you ok?” Sasha asked, eyes scanning up and down, searching for any sign of injury from the Riott Squad’s sneak attack.

“I’m fine. They aren’t as tough as they think they are.”

Sasha shook her head and reached out to stroke her fingers through Bayley’s hair, making her hum. She scooted even closer and Sasha opened her arms, pulling Bayley to rest against her, back to her front. There was a kiss to her temple and an amused breath puffed out by the shell of her ear. “Liv has a crush on you, you know.”

Bayley burst out laughing at that, head falling back to Sasha’s shoulder. “That explains a lot, actually.” One eyebrow quirked up as she glanced over at Sasha. “Maybe I should shoot my shot.”

Sasha let out a scandalized gasp and smacked Bayley on the arm.

“Ow!” Bayley clutched at it dramatically and pushed away from Sasha’s embrace, a playful smile sliding onto her lips. “What? I just wanna have options.”

Sasha smirked back at her, annoyed and still somehow smug. “Baby, your only option is me.”

Bayley couldn’t argue with that. Someone didn’t have to look far to understand the lengths Bayley had gone to to be who she was to Sasha. What she’d sacrificed. Who’d she hurt. How much of herself she’d freely given away. The fact that she’d do it all again just to be sitting where she was at that very second. Still. Pressing buttons was fun.

“I’m just saying that Liv seems like she would be a good time.”

Sasha narrowed her eyes. “Not if I put her in the hospital first.”

And there she was, the Sasha Bayley knew and adored so deeply. “It’s hot that the Legit Boss Sasha Banks gets so jealous over little old me.”

A scoff. “Little old you as if women don’t try to throw themselves at you.”

“Come on. Who has ever thrown themselves at me?”

Sasha’s face was painted over in disbelief, but she played along. “Charlotte and Becky in NXT, for starters.”

“Don’t be gross, Sash. I’ve never thought about either of them that way.”

“If you say so.” It sounded like a challenge.

Bayley didn’t like where the conversation was headed. “I do say so.”

Sasha just kept looking at her, and it seemed to Bayley that she was embarrassed or uneasy to have brought up something from so long ago. The fact that she brought it up meant that she still spent time thinking about it and for Bayley, that made it something worthy of talking about. That was what they did now, after all. Talked it out. NXT was something they rarely brought up because it was a time marred by mutual dislike and torment before they’d realized their deeper draw to each other.

“Hold on.” Bayley said, brain finally putting the pieces together in a way that made sense. “Is that why you made them turn on me? You were jealous? Of them?”

It sounded so crazy, Sasha going to those lengths to make sure Bayley had nothing, when all along she’d just wanted Bayley to herself.

Sasha gave a nod that was almost shy. “Even back then.”

Such a simple statement, but one that told Bayley more about Sasha than she’d ever realized. She’d spent years holding onto something she hadn’t known how to handle: a connection to another person that she couldn’t explain. Hurting Bayley was easier than trying to figure it out, though eventually it’d become too much for either of them. They were meant to be who they were to each other. Enemies, friends, lovers, soulmates, all of it, any of it, all at the same time, but never nothing.

Oh, God.

“I’m such a fuck up.” She ran both hands down her face in irritation. “God, I’m such a fuck up.”

Sasha didn’t say anything to that. She was giving Bayley the room she needed to air it out. That was what they did now finally. After eight years of burying shit inside until they wanted to kill each other.

“It was hard for you to be comfortable with your feelings for me. And all I’ve done is throw that in your face over and over.”

Her skin crawled with the distaste and hatred she felt for her own actions. Looking at Sasha wasn’t even an option, so she looked down at her own wringing hands and waited for the inevitable.

Two fingertips settled under her chin and brought her back. “Baby. I hurt you too. A lot. I wanted to hurt you for making me feel so much. I’m a fuck up, too.”

Bayley’s chest was tight with unease. Maybe the intensity of what they felt wasn’t enough to save them. “Sash. Are we ever going to be ok?”

“We are ok. We are. We just have to be in this together. For real.”

Bayley managed a smile, as everything inside her started to loosen bit by bit. She could do that. She wanted to do that. More than that, she needed to because being with Sasha was the same as breathing for her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Sasha kissed her firmly but pulled back when Bayley tried to deepen it. “What about Wrestlemania?”

“I’m going to make sure you walk out as the champion. Just like you did for me.”


End file.
